"Pretty To Me"

I prefer pretty girls. I'm not going to go into a drawn out justification of being attracted to pretty women. To me it would seem logical. A dude spots a woman that matches his concept of pretty, he approaches that woman in an attempt to learn more about her and determine whether she now meets his concept of "pretty inside too". I'm not sure that women are much different but feel strongly that this very topic is worthy of setting aside as one to dig out over a walk, dinner, or tea.

Now wait just a minute....before you make up your mind about me, keep reading.

As to my concept of "pretty"....I'd like to tell you a true story. Just out of high school I went on a long trip across the british west indies, barbados, trinidad, and puerto rico where i played in the ocean, explored, and tried to act like what i thought an adventurous young vagabond man was supposed to act like. it was during that trip that i met the most hands down attractive woman i had met to date. kathryn heldman was her name. see? after 30 years i can pull up her image in a second and it brings a smile. kathryn was "a bit stout". she had a plainish face and strong build (i guarantee you she weighed more than 140). but that didn't matter a bit to me because kathryn had a presence that made me embarassed for all of the pretty models in the world (then and now). she walked up to me on a fairly deserted beach and after telling me i was cute, actually asked if i came there often. we laughed pretty bloody hard. we proceeded to swim out to a platform in the water and sit and swap stories until the sun went down and the cold drove us back to shore and home. this girl could tell a story and boy, did she like to laugh. she was not at all shy about announcing her feelings about me or just about any topic and had an incredible confidence that comes from being pretty happy with herself. it seems that she just didnt give a shite about looking like someones concept of a model pretty girl and instead just let her inner beauty shine through. and boy, did it ever. i fell so hard for that girl that i imagine somewhere on a beach in trinidad, there's still a dent in the sand!

i don't hear from her anymore but owe a large debt to her. she gave me the ability to look way behind a couple of extra pounds or a barbie face in order to attempt to see whose really in there. it is so extremely rare to find someone who can look beyond these hellish concepts of beauty that are forced on us from the media and society itself. don't get me wrong, i'm a droid to an extent too. i appreciate slender, pretty, petite, girls. but people have to talk to each other sometimes, and the sad fact is that many times they open their mouths and say that they think that they have fat thighs, or post a picture on an online dating site with a posed "come hither" look while attempting to show off cleavage, i just have to roll my eyes and shake my head.

but there's a bottom line here too. many people with less than average appearances have taken that condition personally. they've apparently decided that you already don't like them because of it and feel no need to be friendly toward folks. a self fulfilling prophecy to be sure. it's been my real experience that if someone is fixated on their own appearance or perceived failures, it has a real and definite affect on their dealings and relationships and sexuality with others. how well i know this - oh man!.

do YOU think you're pretty? are you happy? would you believe me if someday someone looked in your eyes and said you were beautiful? or would you always suspect them of just being nice or saying it to get something in return?